Day 13, Part One: The Escape From Alcatraz

Note: Mom, Dad, Grandparents, we are alive and safe. Keep that in mind while reading this.

This morning we woke up leisurley trying to not "go" in the bucket for as long as possible. We very awkwardly went into the kitcken without any greeting from Marcello. We grabbed some stale bread for breakfast (we quickly learned that he is not a very good bread maker, and that he definitely does NOT have the bread factory that Cinzia spoke of) and sat together in silence. We quickly got ready for work and then listened to Marcello list the chores that were ahead of us for the day, and as he assured us the night before there were never any "please's" to his requests. He mocked us when we didn't know what pruning was (hellooo, city girls), and told us he wouldn't be able to show us but we could collect the branches.

As we were walking to the yard he explained that he should have taken care of the lawn "two weks ago" but we think he meant two months ago. Since this was a job "for only one person" Jaime took hold of the the broken lawn mower and began mowing the shin-high grass pretty much blade by blade. He took me down into the wilderness through grass I couldn't see over and showed me how to bundle branches with string. So far very doable (although we were a little worried about the lack of coffee breaks and the no lunch thing). He got a little frusterated with my bundle making and called me a "lousy" knot tier (in all seriousness) and then blamed Jaime for breaking the lawn mower. Hans and Cinzia, we miss you!

After getting lost in grass and webs of the largest spiders I have ever seen I took Jaime up the mountain to teach her how to bundle branches and how to tie non-lousy knots. This is when we began discussing our true feelings about Marcello. It wasn't the lack of toilet, or lawn mowing that gave us uneasy feelings about this farm, but how unwelcome we felt in his home and his frequent references to nazi's and jewish conspiracies. We decided there was no need to go though boot camp or have an unenjoyable stay so we decided to put into action the Emergency Escape Plan that Jaime
had devised the night before in her head. It called for the need to leave due to an emergency back home. Simple enough right?

We headed down the mountain to find Marcello and told him that we needed to leave early due to an emergency and asked him if there was a nearby bus stop or if he would mind driving us to the train at some point. He laughed at us for a few minutes with a snide look before saying he would think about it and continued on his work. Now we really diskliked the man. We went into the house and contemplated what to do from there. We wanted to walk out and leave him a note with some tude but we only got about half way up his mile long dirt "driveway" before we were winded.

We turned around and asked him one more time if he would mind taking us to a bus or train and he said that he "did not care about our emergency" and that we had to do more work before he would take us anywhere. Fake tears were not necessary. Being about 40 minutes from ANYTHING we had no choice but to keep working. More bundles were made and more grass was cut until we were finally done. He told us that we would have to wait till the night for a ride or that we could walk on our own.

So we packed up and attempted the driveway one more time. We got only a few steps from the house before he came wildly chasing us and yelling. He called us crazy and demanded to see our WWOOF cards. We toured around
Roma without a map, you think we brought our WWOOF cards? After he accused us of being imposters and theives he comanded us (in true Hitler fashion) for identification. After showing him our liscences he proceeded to call the WWOOF Italia organization to "report" us for who knows what. We sat there while he tried to prove that we were not WWOOF members and to get us banned from the organization. He failed at his mission and after they assured him that we were indeed members he finally agreed to drive us away. if possible, it was even scarier of a drive than the night before as he chose to take notes and eat lunch while driving on the othe side of the road. The only thing he said to us the entire drive was "at first I thought you were just silly...but now I know you are liars and cheaters".

MAMMA MIA! We boarded the next train to Firenze and were constantly on the look out for big white vans and Hitler look alikes.

Like Hans says, every WWOOF experience is like a blind date. Two for three isn't too shabby. Firenze here we come!

-J and C